English jokes

The mother says to her daughter, "Did you enjoy your first day at school?"
The daughter answers, "First day? Do you mean I have to go back again tomorrow?"

When my parents are asleep
Me: "Shh they are sleeping."

When I'm asleep
Parents:"Lets vacuum the house for 3 hours."

TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
JOSH: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L".
TEACHER: No, that's wrong.
JOSH: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body?

Larry: Shhh, doctor! There are three dogs outside in the waiting room!

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."

'Doctor, my family think I'm mad.'
'Why?'
'Because I like sausages.'
'Nonsense, I like sausages too.'
'You do? You must come round and see my collection. I have hundreds.'